day 15

I have not posted in a while because the cleanse is not at the front of my mind. The new way of eating has become incorporated into my day and is feeling great. I am hoping that it will continue. I have 6 days left and I am ready for it to be over so that we can move on...move on in the sense of focusing on feeding us all well but without such strict rules. I have been so focused on me to make sure I stay on track and I basically want to pull the family in and normalize. Life is hectic. I have been working on placentas every day since Wed. I will be working on one today and tomorrow and still have two other moms due this month. I am thankful for the work but oh so overwhelmed. When I think about my day it is me and the kids in a peaceful clean home enjoying each other, working together and feeling productive. I am not even sure if this is possible and the truth is it is probably a false ideal. However, I crave order so badly. My personality does not lend itself toward structure and I can easily get distracted as I move from task to task. I make schedules just to break them but in my heart I feel like I can do it. I am praying for creativity and a clear mind so that it can be our reality. There are things that need to change. I pray God will give me wisdom.