sick

we have been hammered by the true flu over the past 10 days. Everyone but Marion has been out. It seems to be ending with antibiotics for at least 2 of the kids, not a victorious end but an end none the less. We have been in a funk, fog, and each of us has been so cranky. I have said things I regret, I have wanted space from my family and wondered why I could not maneuver my way through this thing with an ounce of grace. I have wonderful memories of my mother when I was sick. She comforted, cared and loved so well. Her presence was a gift. I actually wonder what my own kids would say about me during there recent sickness. Suffice it to say I was not as nurturing about it as my own mother. I was just plain impatient. I do love them though and if I can see through the mom guilt eyes tonight I can redirect my energy to try again tomorrow. So melancholy on here all the time..and hoping for a better day with my sweet babies and of course my husband who is equally as endearing (occasionally : ))

my life is actually wonderful and happy. my husband just kicked me off my blog so that he can watch a movie. LAME.