Thursday, September 2, 2010
life as I see it right now
I write all of the time in this journal about being overwhelmed because I think I am most of the time...I feel like God has been reminding me that I am a mother because I am called to be a mother by HIM. I know I am where I am supposed to be. In that calling I think I should feel the presence of God as I go about my daily tasks and live this life with my family. It turns out though that most of the time that is not the case. Most of the time, I awake and my day controls me. I barely get through it before it tumbles into another day and by then I have lost complete control. I want our home to be a Holy place. I want to feel God's presence as I do our tasks and I want my children to feel His presence as well. I have spent years making lists and schedules. Sometimes I thrive by them and sometimes they bring more guilt because I then can see all of the areas I am failing. I am going to take a different approach...though schedule and lists are a must for my life I want to be more intentional about meditation, rest and being in God's presence. I want to be able to ask Him to order my day, to give me life and creativity and above all Wisdom in it. This is what I need, I cannot go it alone. A friend was praying for Kyle and I this weekend and I was reminded that Jesus loves me and my children. Somehow that seemed like a new thought, though I know it my heart has forgotten it. I am trying to remember. I will not make it through this life without guidance and love from my Father. God is good, I will trade in my heavy, confused and burdened heart for Jesus yoke...His burden is easy and light...easy and light it will be.
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kelsie,
ReplyDeletethank you for posting this. i'm beginning week three as a mother of two on my own, with aaron now back to school, and i've already had some very overwhelming days. it's good to be reminded of these things. it seems i can't be reminded enough. last week the teaching at our church was about the Father's love for us & how it doesn't change no matter what we do or don't do. it is. His love is. we are His daughters & He is pleased with us. though my days may feel hectic & overwhelming & that i'm not living up to the standard i'd like to be... His love is always there. and i want to rest in His presence, too. i need it. it's too hard to go it alone. like you said: i want Him to order my day, not just my lists and schedules. because lists & schedules never go away - they are heavy. but yes, His burden is light.
He is the same yesterday, today & tomorrow. and oh, how He loves us.
thanks, kelsie.
~kristina
I think we're both coming back to a place we left awhile ago...and it feels good to be back. It's been a journey hasn't it? Miss you, friend. Miss our lives interacting daily. But, love you just as much.
ReplyDeleteKerri
I am at this point in my life also. I have a prayer that someone sent me that just asks God to walk through my house, take my worries, illnesses and watch over me and heal my family. Matthew 11:28-30 is a perfect scripture to claim. love you Susie. Nana
ReplyDeletethank you for this. i just have one sweet child and get overwhelmed at the sheer responsibility of it all. however, i am not alone. i forget that all the time, even though i've been a follower of Jesus for a long time. his mercies are new every morning, and for that i'm grateful because i need it. i need Jesus.
ReplyDeleteyou're a beautiful mother.
mandy