and some days the world falls apart

I am sitting at the end of a day where I have managed to have everyone in tears and feeling really proud of myself (NOT!!) I have not been feeling well this week, Kyle left this morning and I had the brilliant idea to try to manage a completely unmanageable day...as follows


6:45am awake
7:15 - breakfast with kids
7:45- dress kids
8:00- Marion up fed and dressed
8:00-8:45 work on getting everyone out the door to take Canaan to school
9:15 Canaan at school now have three kids at the park
** While at the park I feel the sudden overwhelming urge to use the bathroom, number 2 to be exact. With baby still in my arms, and no where to put her I tell my kids to stay put while I trudge my way to the porta potty...with baby still in my arms I manage to get undressed, sit down, go, only to find out there is no toilet paper in there (AAGGHH!!)
9:35-get in car, go to bank, and then to Maggies hair appt.
10-11am Maggie gets her haircut, while I nurse baby entertain francis and talk to my dear Patience
11am lunch with kids at Jason's Deli (highlight of the day)
12pm take maggie to preschool
**by this time you may be wondering when my baby napped. Let's just say not much which was a preface for disaster
12:45pm we manage to make it home to lay Francis down but Marion is now wired...
1-2pm try to recover the house, rest, and look at work stuff with irritated baby on my hip
2:15pm- Marion finally goes to nap only to have to be woken up a half hour later to go pick up the siblings
2:15-2:45- work stuff
2:45pm - wake up Mags and Francis to go and pick up Maggie by 3pm
3:00-pick up maggie and travel to Westgate to get Canaan
3:30pm pick up Canaan
**at this point the day should have been done for us. The smart thing would have been to go home clean up make a simple supper and put everyone to bed. But NOPE. I thought tonight should be "fun" since daddy is out of town...
4:00pm I drag all three children to stringtown road to buy paint supplies for a fun painting evening
4:15-have to stop at Chick Filet so cranky, hungry, tired, irritable, beside themselves, we just want to go home children BEG for a snack...french fries, water, and fruit cups it is
4:45-finally walk into Michaels to get paint supplies while I threaten my children to "dare touch anything in here!!!" while wearing a tired baby
5:15pm-finally get home kids eat dinner and we sit down to paint
5:30-7pm 4 spilled cups of water, maggie's hand in side her paint water cup, Canaan lasting for about 15 minutes painting, Francis slopping paint all over himself and kind of painting...I called the "fun" time over
7pm-Marion lays down for a brief nap and I put an over tired Maggie and Francis in the bathtub
7:30pm- pull out said children after Francis balled because his eye hurt and Maggie balled because there was now paint pieces from her body in the bath water (did I mention that during bath time Marion awoke and balled and nurse and balled while I tried to wash up the kids. I finally laid her on the bath room floor. She wailed while I dragged (literally) screaming Maggie and Francis out of the bath.
8:00pm tried to get jammies on kids, get them in bed...they are so over tired, as well as I, that we are all irrational. I am screaming maggie is now crying because I am screaming. Canaan bangs his foot in the door...Francis is now beyond tears and just running around like a crazy over tired 2 yr old.
8:30pm- finally everyone falls into bed.
8:45pm- I sit down and write this blog because really I need someone to process the insanity with and I am alone

I will say that writing this all out has made me feel better. I tried to do way too much today and I hope tomorrow goes better. The paintings the kids did are kind of funny. When I envisioned us sitting down and painting together I think I believed this hidden creativity would come out of each of us...not so. My kids basically were painting the board. So Mags was trying to make a pink board, Canaan a purple. So now I basically have three different color boards to hang on the wall...that is funny. My painting on the other hand looks ridiculous but actually served a purpose for me. I drew nine boxes and in jumbled letters so you cannot read what it says, I wrote "be the best" each letter in its own box. It was a really symbolic painting for me because that is what I am always attempting and the jumbled letters represents what really comes out of me. I appreciated that. Ok so now I do see a good thing about today...my painting....and my blessed children who are now all fast asleep. I feel better : )